he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize