Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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