Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
