Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
