do herpes really smell.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
