So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
