I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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