Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
