found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
