that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
