We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Damn victory sex feels great
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
