There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
