You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
