can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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