She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When did angry sex become our thing?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Damn victory sex feels great
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
