Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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