Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
