im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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