There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
