Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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