I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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