the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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