There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
