i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
