So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
