went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize