did you get engaged???
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
