Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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