just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
