no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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