Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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