Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
