It's just like the Real World with babies
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
