i think my mom watched the whole time
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
