Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
