THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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