She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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