i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
