sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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