I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
