I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
