All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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