i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
