I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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