Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Drunk is not a location!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
