The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
