Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
