i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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