wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
