I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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