I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize