Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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