I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
"it" just moved
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
