I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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